Quiet Revolution is excited to spread the word about Matthew Pollard’s book release.
We introverts live in a world that looks up to people who act like extroverts. We often describe the leaders we admire as outgoing, charming, and charismatic. Successful people look and act extroverted. Therefore, extroverts are the people we believe we should model.
That doesn’t work for introverts like you and me. It goes against who we are, how we’re wired, and how we think. Sure, we can pretend to be extroverts and learn the tricks that mask our introversion, but at the end of the day, asking a hard-core introvert to get excited about working the room is like hiring a performing artist to get excited about accounting: It’s just not in their nature.
We’re different and we should embrace that.
Here’s the advantage: We don’t rely on our personality. In the absence of natural talent, we have to rely on a process…and in the long run, process beats personality. Every time.
In presenting career process for introverts, I won’t pretend that I’ve created some revolutionary system. But an inspirational framework to let us think:
Let’s look at just the essential elements, from the thirty-thousand-foot view, so you can see how the pieces fit together.
First, establish trust and provide an agenda. One of the reasons How to Win Friends and Influence People is an enduring classic is because of how timeless Dale Carnegie’s advice is: Start by connecting with the other person on a personal level. Without trust, you have nothing but an uphill battle.
When they understand even a rough agenda of the meeting, they often visibly relax. And when done well, they understand that what you’re asking is designed to help them, so they’re happy to answer in-depth.
Second, ask probing questions. Instead, have a list of questions ready to help you find their pain points. This often comes naturally to introverts, who enjoy asking questions of others. Try to understand where they’re coming from, including their concerns. Do they worry about security? About missing time with their partner? Providing the good life for their kids? That’s their real problem, and perhaps you can help solve it.
And if they don’t want to open up to a complete stranger (understandably), tell stories about customers just like them who’ve had problems just like theirs. Often, you’ll see them begin to nod their heads because they’ve experienced the same thing themselves.
Third, speak to the decision-maker. Where you thought, I’ve got this one in the bag! And when you were ready to sign, the person said, “Oh, no, I can’t make this decision. I’d have to speak to my [spouse, boss, investor, partner].” That’s why you need to find out up front if you’re actually in a meeting for decision maker.
Fourth, tell a story. People are more cynical and more educated than ever. They can compare you with your competitors with just a click of a mouse. So instead of giving them a solution, tell them a true story—one of a handful that you’ve prepared and that feel authentic to you—of how one of your past customers was like them, and how they got the exact result they were hoping for.
Fifth, answer objections with stories. Don’t tell your partner why they’re wrong or how their reasoning doesn’t apply. Don’t pressure them to try some gimmick to misdirect them. Simply tell a story—again, prepared beforehand so that it feels natural to a similar objection or issue. Introverts often seek to persuade via data, without realizing the connective power of narrative.
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